Fathers and carriers
Posted on March 27, 2008 by Orit
As I promised in a previous post I am dedicating a few words to this favorite subject of mine.
Fathers and carriers. What a great combination! For the father, the carrier is the closest he can ever get to feeling what it’s like being pregnant.
The physical bonding between mother and child is extremely strong- there are all kind of hormones that are supposed to take care of the mother’s feelings for her child as soon as it comes out of her womb.
As for the father, nature doesn’t seem to do as much in order to help him form an attachment to his newborn child, and indeed some men find it hard to become attached to their babies at first (and some women do, too, in spite of all those hormones).
This is just where the carrier can come in useful. Feeling this small, soft, cuddly, sweet smelling bundle of a baby pressed against their chest can help any nervous first-time-dad develop tender feelings towards it. Wearing a satisfied baby, sleeping peacefully, can also help the father gain confidence with his child and feel able to take care of it successfully. And of course, it is an invaluable help for the tired mother, getting some time off, while the baby is getting his dose of body warmth from his dad.
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Carriers are great for moms or dads both but I think you are not looking at the facts about moms and dads. Moms and Dads do relate differently to their child. One is a man, the other is a woman, they do EVERYTHING differently. Pregnancy and birth definitely have a lot to do with it but a man’s hormones change on the birth of his child as well. Test have shown that a new father’s testosterone levels drop and estrogen levels go up. It helps him nurture and keeps him from eating the child onc they start crying. Of course that is at a very evolutionary level though. Even when he nurtures, he still does it like a masculine parent because he is designed to fo it that way. He is a man and nature, not a oppressive patriarchal society, made him to parent like a man and a father. All the research points to the fact that when he acts like a natural father and a true man, his child does much better. Carriers are nice but dads sometimes with their kids came with handles like on a suitcase.
Chekc the facts
As a dad I really, really agree with this post. I was carried by my mum and dad as a baby and am doing the same with our children. In fact the Wilkinet (see link from my name) was designed by my mum for us kids (started life with me and then perfected for my younger brother).
The benefits of cuddling your baby our certainly mutual (for parent and child) - and guess what, we did some research recently that found that Dads would prefer a cuddle to a beer. Really… no really! More info here: Wilkinet: Dads prefer cuddles to beer (no really… really!)
I love wearing my baby girl. By this way can keep her close to me all the time.
Mike,
I’m not sure I understood your point, and I’m not even sure we differ much.
I’m not saying that using a carrier cancels out the differences between man and woman.
I quite agree that a functional father is important for a child’s ideal development.
I do believe that using a carrier might help certain fathers to act as you say, more like a natural father and a true man.
Gideon,
I know very few grown-ups who grew up in a baby carrier, let alone that their mother actually created her own baby carrier for them. I think it is wonderful that you are raising a second generations of carried babies.